I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
