I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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