Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
