I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
