When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
