You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize