I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
not ubering you a puppy
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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