Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
