You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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