just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
