i would punch a child for taco bell
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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