we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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