Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
What a dumb baby whore.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae