i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
A Guy Sent A Woman What May Be The Craziest Breakup Text Ever
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
28 Completely Safe For Work Pictures Of Genitals
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.