Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking