Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
