I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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