I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
So vagazzling was a success
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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