YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
