If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
