I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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