Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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