i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
