Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
