I'm eating all of the evidence.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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