I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
