okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
