Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
