I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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