ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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