Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
