You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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