I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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