My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
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I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
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Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
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