And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
