oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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