we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
