Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
