xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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