Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
