just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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