Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Just cropdusted the office
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
