Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
