your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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