I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize