Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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