so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
