I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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