there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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