I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize