Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
