Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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