Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
