I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize