thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
