Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize
