There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
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it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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