One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
