i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
It's blow job season.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
