Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Randomize
