Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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