are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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