3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
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I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
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He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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